You will be amazed at what you find when you dig through an old desk drawer! I found my old speech self-introduction from my first year of college, I think. Thinking back to those first two years of college, I cannot help but miss them. They were FUN. Did I mention I was single? Not that I regret my relationship with Juan, but I was so full of dare devil fun. I was not shy nor quiet, always ready to talk to people. There were loads of people to meet at college, plenty of new friends to make. In making all these new friends, I always kept my identity and only became a more "rounded" individual.
For example, I met my best friend Abe who is also my photo buddy at Freshman Orientation, we are still the best of friends and he is always here for me, a truly caring and sincere friend. I also met Gloria who became my mentor and my friend, and continues to push me forward with my education. I met these two dear friends through college and being part of LASO (Latin American Student Organization). LASO kept us together that first year of college, kept us bonded. We shared that same pride for our culture and wanted to promote a positive view of our culture as well as get more Latinos in college.
When I began brainstorming ideas for this self-introductory speech, inifinite ideas came to mind. Mainly, I looked at the grown up complex woman I had become, and saw what influenced me.
What's your background and how does it influence who you are today?
This question sparked many answers, like lighting a fire, and infinite embers popping out in all directions. I,am who I am today because of life experiences that have presented challenges for me and resulted in valuable benefits.
First of all my culture: I am American, I am proud to be an American, and live in a land where I have so much freedom and I can use my voice. I am proud because I have so many opportunities for an education. I am also Latina of Mexican-American descent. There's always that spice that influences my words. There's always that extra flavor to my life, never boring. There's more to me than just "saying" I am Mexican-American. There is that tight bonding of family. There is that support. Mexican-Americans are tight, you don't see many people take their whole family with them to a job interview. Talk about some support! Or when someone has a baby, one end of the maternity ward is full of a mixture of Tex-Mex and Spanglish "loud" voices. You did catch loud right? And, nombre, (no man) don't let me mention when someone dies. People show up, I've never met before, and I keep hearing "That's your primo and she's your prima, y ella es tu tia." This bonding of family grows with me, stays with me, becomes a tradition. A tradition I plan to continue. It just kinda stays there, becomes accustomed to. Like tasting salsa over and over again, and it still doesn't get hotter, doesn't change. That's the way it is, with my family ties, don't change. We are so used to each other, we can pick on each other and take it. Maybe that's why Latinos are so tough, we grow up getting picked on, then we know how to fight back. Or those of us, who like to go and cry in the nearest corner. It happens to all of us, at some point and another, we break down and cry, whether it be for joy, "like it's finally over," or pain, "damn, you hurt me, me voy a matar!" I know every Latino has heard it before, someone so pissed off or hurt that they wanna kill someone or kill themselves, but they rarely do it, just look at the statstics. You hardly ever see a Latino person on the suicide list, we just don't do that crazy stuff. We're too busy trying to make a living, working our asses off, we don't have time to sit down and feel depressed, we ain't crazy like that. I can say the same for my soul sisters, we too busy catching up on the gossip to stop and think we're depressed. My culture is my way of life, how I live, how I think, what I do, what I will do, what I won't forget.
Another influence in my life has been my teachers and mentors. I was in sixth grade when my teacher, saw my writing talent, she saw that I had "it." I remember sitting there, twelve years old, just learning what poetry was, just learning what life was. Learning how to express myself so importantly. That whole year of my life, she influenced me greatly. She taught me how to say, "The short red-headed boy ran quickly" versus "The boy ran." I remember her smiling face and encouragement at my first attempts for language use in public speaking. It was fun being in her class and learning so much, I didn't realize it until later, but she changed my life.
I knew later I wanted to be a teacher and touch lives the way she'd touched mine. I developed that same natural desire to help people and make a difference in someone's life. It's amazing how the people we meet can touch our lives. It's like that quote about lighting one candle and then another is lighted.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Christmas Fiestas
First Christmas Party was with the Latina Forum. We have mentored to several young girls age 14-18 from the Victoria, Texas area. We saw Christmas as a great time to get together and talk. Have a heart-to-heart as our President Gloria says. This Christmas party was great, felt right at home con las mujeres (with the women). Gloria was ready to ask questions about how college and high school had been going for the girls. In case there are any problems, we like to help solve problems and encourage them.
My cousin Kristin was with me, and I was proud of her when she shared how challenges in school influence her to try harder. I am glad at such a young age, she is already realizing how we have to work our nalgas (booties) off to get to top. Reminds me of Gloria's metaphor about that ladder of success. It constantly goes through my mind, I like it. We go up that ladder one step at a time and before we reach the next step we help someone else up. Como mi vida, (like my life) I always want to help someone, influence them so they can better themselves, and be happy. I think I get it from my daddy. Daddy is happy being a truck driver and living on the road, and he's convincing everyone it's a great job and he makes good money. The same way my dad convinces other men to be truck drivers, I convince people to go to college or some form of higher education. Being part of the Latina Forum is important to me, because I have the opportunity to help people.
My community activities are important to me, because here I find fullfillment. Yea, yea I got off topic here. The Christmas party was fun being surround by highly educated women and mentoring to young girls who needed our guidance was an enjoyable and rewarding experience that is truly priceless. It was fun being near Becca Garicia and her cravings for potato chips and Cheetos. We laughed and shared examples of clothing and accessories we like. We also shared how shopping is therapy. if I am feeling down or I need an instant pick-me-up, I go shopping. When I come home with shopping bags loaded with clothes and accessories, my mom is like "Not again!" I quickly answer with "I was depressed, so I went shopping." This became an expensive habit once I saw the credit card bills. Como "perdoname por favor" (like forgive/pardon me please) but I found such great deals." Tonight was a second fiesta with my family, all my mom's side. It was fun taking pictures of the family and lining them up in the way I was taught. My mother bragged about me and how I took a course in photography and I was nearly a professional. Not exactly a professional, yet. But I do have about six years of experience.
My cousin Kristin was with me, and I was proud of her when she shared how challenges in school influence her to try harder. I am glad at such a young age, she is already realizing how we have to work our nalgas (booties) off to get to top. Reminds me of Gloria's metaphor about that ladder of success. It constantly goes through my mind, I like it. We go up that ladder one step at a time and before we reach the next step we help someone else up. Como mi vida, (like my life) I always want to help someone, influence them so they can better themselves, and be happy. I think I get it from my daddy. Daddy is happy being a truck driver and living on the road, and he's convincing everyone it's a great job and he makes good money. The same way my dad convinces other men to be truck drivers, I convince people to go to college or some form of higher education. Being part of the Latina Forum is important to me, because I have the opportunity to help people.
My community activities are important to me, because here I find fullfillment. Yea, yea I got off topic here. The Christmas party was fun being surround by highly educated women and mentoring to young girls who needed our guidance was an enjoyable and rewarding experience that is truly priceless. It was fun being near Becca Garicia and her cravings for potato chips and Cheetos. We laughed and shared examples of clothing and accessories we like. We also shared how shopping is therapy. if I am feeling down or I need an instant pick-me-up, I go shopping. When I come home with shopping bags loaded with clothes and accessories, my mom is like "Not again!" I quickly answer with "I was depressed, so I went shopping." This became an expensive habit once I saw the credit card bills. Como "perdoname por favor" (like forgive/pardon me please) but I found such great deals." Tonight was a second fiesta with my family, all my mom's side. It was fun taking pictures of the family and lining them up in the way I was taught. My mother bragged about me and how I took a course in photography and I was nearly a professional. Not exactly a professional, yet. But I do have about six years of experience.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Monday, December 20, 2004
La Primera (The First)
My first post, anyone who reads my blogs, may comment freely, esta bien (it's okay).
I was first born American, ~I am proud to be an American~.
As I grew up then I realized, I am Latina of Mexican-American descent. My parents speak half English, half Spanish. We listen to Tejano music, notice I said Tejano, not Mexican - big difference. We eat burritos dripping with grease, we eat flour toritllas, not corn tortillas. Another thing, I go to college, University of Houston-Victoria, first in my family to attend college, huge accomplishment, I plan to stick with it.
I am not the first daughter, but the last daughter de la familia Contreras de Edna, Tejas. Not to brag on myself or anything, but I am the first Latina from the Edna High School Class of 2002 to stay single all through high school, and get my first serious boyfriend in my third year of college. In other words, my focus has been on school, my family, my writing, my community activities, my friends, and ME. I was one of the first to be a little selfish there, I'll admit. I loved myself more and I wanted to succeed and no one was going to stop me and believe me, boys/men whatever you want to call them, came along and tried to get me to rearrange my life for them pero no Elsie comes first in this life. It's like my best friend and I were talking the other day, "I gotta look out for me, because nobody else is going to." Then, I met Juan and I fell in love.
No other way to put it, I heard his manly polite voice on the phone and I thought to myself, hay papi chulo, you have a sexy voice. Especially when he said, "I have a passion for music, that comes first in my life." I had no other way to reply, "You know...I have a passion for words, words are my first love." Could I meet a better guy who shared the same passion as I do for the Arts? I was enamorada (In love).
It's like when I met Juan, I realized Life is meant to be shared with someone. I couldn't help falling in love with him; my days had been alright, not boring, but not exciting either. Once we started talking on the phone, I was determined to have him as my boyfriend. Anyone is probably thinking, "hay que tonta, (oh how dumb) you heard his voice and you wanted him right then and there?" Believe me, I was thinking that about myself. I had only seen one foto of him and he looked alright in it, he wasn't like super fly or anything, an ordinary guy, but it was that voice I liked, and those wise words he spoke. He had to send me like 30 seconds of one of his hip hop beats and I'm listening, thinking, he got some talent. And, he does when it comes to music. I don't know where he gets his ideas from for his music, I mean he has the East Coast influence, but every beat I've heard so far is unique! Don't let him know I told you this ;), but I am pretty sure he is going to make it with his own record label like G-Unit or something, because I can hear 50 Cent rapping to his beats or even my man, Lloyd Banks.
A month after Juan and I met online, we met offline. It was 10:30 p.m. Saturday, September 18, 2004 and his bus was an hour late. I'd been rolling up and down the south side of Victoria, Texas waiting on him. He'd lost his cell phone, had no way of calling me to let me know it was running late. I'm ready to cry, thinking, i done got stood up again. I'm in between getting angry and getting depressed. I call my friends up like "Man, sister I don't know what to do." My tummy is growling, I hadn't eaten since like noon. My friend tells me, "Get you something to eat and wait it out like 10-15 mins longer, then if he don't show up and he call you, tell him 'i waited, but i ain't waiting no more.'" Aight, so i took her advice, I'm stuffing my face with some chicken nuggets from Wendy's, about to spill bar-be-que sauce on my chin, when my cell phone lights up, and I hear that "tweet tweet" ring. YEAH, (btw, I can't say that Lil Jon "yea!" my voice is too soft) he was in town! I took one look at him, and I thought, wow he's a cutie, but man he sure does have some BLACK HAIR! It ain't gonna work when I tell Daddy he's just Puerto Rican, he gonna look at that hair and know he part black! I didn't mind, Love has no colors after all, but I knew Daddy was gonna mind. Yea, and Juan had to wear some hip clothes, u know the baggy jeans and loose basketeball jersey. To me, that's a style, to my parents, it's one of those negative lablels. I bring him home to my old-fashioned parents, did I mention old-fashioned? They shake hands, talk that man to man talk. The whole time, I am scoping him out, like hmm he pretty tall, broad shoulders, thin waist, long legs. He looks kinda scared, checking out my dad's gun cabinet, while I am checking him out.
And, yes Daddy did come and tell me, "I'm 54 years old, I know a brother when I see one." I couldn't lie, even though my brother in law Bubba told him he was Puerto Rican and Puerto Ricans are part black anyway. My dad told him, "If that guy isn't part black, I will kiss your a** on Main street." Of course, I had to admit, "Yea Daddy, he's part black." For about two weeks, Daddy was mad, Mama agreed with him, but when he was working, she was saying, "Mija, follow your heart." It's taking some time, todavia, (still) taking some time. Finally it came down to "Mija, whatever makes you happy." And Juan sure does make me happy. He's my backbone in some ways, always ready to help support me. I'm still my own woman, and I have my own life, but there comes a time to share it with someone else. You know a partner, companion, lover, friend, he's all that y mas (and more). Now, I am sharing part of my life with you (the readers), feel free to laugh, comment, whateva, I don't care.
Peace Out!
I was first born American, ~I am proud to be an American~.
As I grew up then I realized, I am Latina of Mexican-American descent. My parents speak half English, half Spanish. We listen to Tejano music, notice I said Tejano, not Mexican - big difference. We eat burritos dripping with grease, we eat flour toritllas, not corn tortillas. Another thing, I go to college, University of Houston-Victoria, first in my family to attend college, huge accomplishment, I plan to stick with it.
I am not the first daughter, but the last daughter de la familia Contreras de Edna, Tejas. Not to brag on myself or anything, but I am the first Latina from the Edna High School Class of 2002 to stay single all through high school, and get my first serious boyfriend in my third year of college. In other words, my focus has been on school, my family, my writing, my community activities, my friends, and ME. I was one of the first to be a little selfish there, I'll admit. I loved myself more and I wanted to succeed and no one was going to stop me and believe me, boys/men whatever you want to call them, came along and tried to get me to rearrange my life for them pero no Elsie comes first in this life. It's like my best friend and I were talking the other day, "I gotta look out for me, because nobody else is going to." Then, I met Juan and I fell in love.
No other way to put it, I heard his manly polite voice on the phone and I thought to myself, hay papi chulo, you have a sexy voice. Especially when he said, "I have a passion for music, that comes first in my life." I had no other way to reply, "You know...I have a passion for words, words are my first love." Could I meet a better guy who shared the same passion as I do for the Arts? I was enamorada (In love).
It's like when I met Juan, I realized Life is meant to be shared with someone. I couldn't help falling in love with him; my days had been alright, not boring, but not exciting either. Once we started talking on the phone, I was determined to have him as my boyfriend. Anyone is probably thinking, "hay que tonta, (oh how dumb) you heard his voice and you wanted him right then and there?" Believe me, I was thinking that about myself. I had only seen one foto of him and he looked alright in it, he wasn't like super fly or anything, an ordinary guy, but it was that voice I liked, and those wise words he spoke. He had to send me like 30 seconds of one of his hip hop beats and I'm listening, thinking, he got some talent. And, he does when it comes to music. I don't know where he gets his ideas from for his music, I mean he has the East Coast influence, but every beat I've heard so far is unique! Don't let him know I told you this ;), but I am pretty sure he is going to make it with his own record label like G-Unit or something, because I can hear 50 Cent rapping to his beats or even my man, Lloyd Banks.
A month after Juan and I met online, we met offline. It was 10:30 p.m. Saturday, September 18, 2004 and his bus was an hour late. I'd been rolling up and down the south side of Victoria, Texas waiting on him. He'd lost his cell phone, had no way of calling me to let me know it was running late. I'm ready to cry, thinking, i done got stood up again. I'm in between getting angry and getting depressed. I call my friends up like "Man, sister I don't know what to do." My tummy is growling, I hadn't eaten since like noon. My friend tells me, "Get you something to eat and wait it out like 10-15 mins longer, then if he don't show up and he call you, tell him 'i waited, but i ain't waiting no more.'" Aight, so i took her advice, I'm stuffing my face with some chicken nuggets from Wendy's, about to spill bar-be-que sauce on my chin, when my cell phone lights up, and I hear that "tweet tweet" ring. YEAH, (btw, I can't say that Lil Jon "yea!" my voice is too soft) he was in town! I took one look at him, and I thought, wow he's a cutie, but man he sure does have some BLACK HAIR! It ain't gonna work when I tell Daddy he's just Puerto Rican, he gonna look at that hair and know he part black! I didn't mind, Love has no colors after all, but I knew Daddy was gonna mind. Yea, and Juan had to wear some hip clothes, u know the baggy jeans and loose basketeball jersey. To me, that's a style, to my parents, it's one of those negative lablels. I bring him home to my old-fashioned parents, did I mention old-fashioned? They shake hands, talk that man to man talk. The whole time, I am scoping him out, like hmm he pretty tall, broad shoulders, thin waist, long legs. He looks kinda scared, checking out my dad's gun cabinet, while I am checking him out.
And, yes Daddy did come and tell me, "I'm 54 years old, I know a brother when I see one." I couldn't lie, even though my brother in law Bubba told him he was Puerto Rican and Puerto Ricans are part black anyway. My dad told him, "If that guy isn't part black, I will kiss your a** on Main street." Of course, I had to admit, "Yea Daddy, he's part black." For about two weeks, Daddy was mad, Mama agreed with him, but when he was working, she was saying, "Mija, follow your heart." It's taking some time, todavia, (still) taking some time. Finally it came down to "Mija, whatever makes you happy." And Juan sure does make me happy. He's my backbone in some ways, always ready to help support me. I'm still my own woman, and I have my own life, but there comes a time to share it with someone else. You know a partner, companion, lover, friend, he's all that y mas (and more). Now, I am sharing part of my life with you (the readers), feel free to laugh, comment, whateva, I don't care.
Peace Out!
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