Sunday, April 09, 2006

Return to Blogging World

You'd think since I am taking a course on blogging that maybe I would update this blog frequently. The course is going well; I don't even know why I quit blogging on here.

Why do I turn to blogging again on here? - where I am truly myself and people have read and returned. I remember the trusting friendships I've formed as well as the insight I've been given from blogging. This is a major reason I've returned.

Another reason ~ I've had so many thoughts, emotions, ideas, realizations, going through my mind that I must release them.

What's the latest? Brief update - I hope it's brief.

I LOVE substitute teaching - that's where my heart and soul is. Those kids are the reason I arise in the morning - the reason that I find myself living. When I go to bed at night, I usually have a content smile on my face because I know there have been some lives I've touched that day. I've been placed at this middle school where the kids are from such a different world of gangs, violence, poverty - this is where I feel most needed. Sometimes, my heart breaks with disappointment. Other times, I beam at their success. I try my best to be there for "my kids." It's such a fulfilling job. I'll admit that there have been periods of frustration, but I've learned to embrace every challenge and it's amazing what God will do when you ask Him. I gotta keep smiling and showing that positive attitude, can't let the kids see me frown.

I am still writing, always writing. There are bits of fragments of stories and additions to my novel scattered in my laptop as well as my on-line storage. I've written some poetry as well. Once I polish up the work, maybe I'll post.

As I get closer to this Bachelor's degree in English and Communications, I feel the dimples form on the side of my mouth. I realize that I know the value of four years of hard work. I used to call college - my demanding husband and in the end, college has been that way, but the rewards and the experiences are paying off. I gotta keep spreading that message - it's such an important one.

I am single...after nearly six months of a wonderful relationship that recently ended. I don't know how to tell this story except that I am moving on slowly...The pain is slowly leaking away like the wax of a candle that slowly melts.

Ultimately, the realization has occured that I must focus on everything God gives me and blesses me with - and everything else will come later if it's in His plan. I am so content right now with my life, and I can't wait to start sharing more with all of you readers. It says in Proverbs (I am horrible @ remembering actual scriptures), that God will bless the one who stands upright so I am gonna keep on standing upright not "pridefully" but "proudly" - such an awesome difference.