Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Who Am I?

You will be amazed at what you find when you dig through an old desk drawer! I found my old speech self-introduction from my first year of college, I think. Thinking back to those first two years of college, I cannot help but miss them. They were FUN. Did I mention I was single? Not that I regret my relationship with Juan, but I was so full of dare devil fun. I was not shy nor quiet, always ready to talk to people. There were loads of people to meet at college, plenty of new friends to make. In making all these new friends, I always kept my identity and only became a more "rounded" individual.
For example, I met my best friend Abe who is also my photo buddy at Freshman Orientation, we are still the best of friends and he is always here for me, a truly caring and sincere friend. I also met Gloria who became my mentor and my friend, and continues to push me forward with my education. I met these two dear friends through college and being part of LASO (Latin American Student Organization). LASO kept us together that first year of college, kept us bonded. We shared that same pride for our culture and wanted to promote a positive view of our culture as well as get more Latinos in college.
When I began brainstorming ideas for this self-introductory speech, inifinite ideas came to mind. Mainly, I looked at the grown up complex woman I had become, and saw what influenced me.
What's your background and how does it influence who you are today?
This question sparked many answers, like lighting a fire, and infinite embers popping out in all directions. I,am who I am today because of life experiences that have presented challenges for me and resulted in valuable benefits.
First of all my culture: I am American, I am proud to be an American, and live in a land where I have so much freedom and I can use my voice. I am proud because I have so many opportunities for an education. I am also Latina of Mexican-American descent. There's always that spice that influences my words. There's always that extra flavor to my life, never boring. There's more to me than just "saying" I am Mexican-American. There is that tight bonding of family. There is that support. Mexican-Americans are tight, you don't see many people take their whole family with them to a job interview. Talk about some support! Or when someone has a baby, one end of the maternity ward is full of a mixture of Tex-Mex and Spanglish "loud" voices. You did catch loud right? And, nombre, (no man) don't let me mention when someone dies. People show up, I've never met before, and I keep hearing "That's your primo and she's your prima, y ella es tu tia." This bonding of family grows with me, stays with me, becomes a tradition. A tradition I plan to continue. It just kinda stays there, becomes accustomed to. Like tasting salsa over and over again, and it still doesn't get hotter, doesn't change. That's the way it is, with my family ties, don't change. We are so used to each other, we can pick on each other and take it. Maybe that's why Latinos are so tough, we grow up getting picked on, then we know how to fight back. Or those of us, who like to go and cry in the nearest corner. It happens to all of us, at some point and another, we break down and cry, whether it be for joy, "like it's finally over," or pain, "damn, you hurt me, me voy a matar!" I know every Latino has heard it before, someone so pissed off or hurt that they wanna kill someone or kill themselves, but they rarely do it, just look at the statstics. You hardly ever see a Latino person on the suicide list, we just don't do that crazy stuff. We're too busy trying to make a living, working our asses off, we don't have time to sit down and feel depressed, we ain't crazy like that. I can say the same for my soul sisters, we too busy catching up on the gossip to stop and think we're depressed. My culture is my way of life, how I live, how I think, what I do, what I will do, what I won't forget.
Another influence in my life has been my teachers and mentors. I was in sixth grade when my teacher, saw my writing talent, she saw that I had "it." I remember sitting there, twelve years old, just learning what poetry was, just learning what life was. Learning how to express myself so importantly. That whole year of my life, she influenced me greatly. She taught me how to say, "The short red-headed boy ran quickly" versus "The boy ran." I remember her smiling face and encouragement at my first attempts for language use in public speaking. It was fun being in her class and learning so much, I didn't realize it until later, but she changed my life.
I knew later I wanted to be a teacher and touch lives the way she'd touched mine. I developed that same natural desire to help people and make a difference in someone's life. It's amazing how the people we meet can touch our lives. It's like that quote about lighting one candle and then another is lighted.