Friday, July 15, 2005

Revise Purpose of My Blog

The title: That says it all. I probably will not post any writings on here, maybe tell you a little bit about what I'm writing, but stories/poems - ask for them and I might let you see. Damn, don't I sound a little sarcastic and mean there? I don't want to "write" anything I might try to publish since I'm already "publishing" by placing these words here. Oh by the way, this is just "free-write." I writing on here the way I talk in my casual speech. Like around my friends and all. I wouldn't write on here like I do when I'm giving a presentation or talking to my boss. It's just "free-write." I like that; kinda like free expression. No one is gonna say "Man, you talk ghetto sometimes." Or "You forgot a comma, you talk in run-on sentences. You talk in fragments." Go ahead and say that; I don't care. This is casual speech.

I'll say what's happening in mi vida loca and how I react. I'll express myself, that's what blogs are for right?

I'm sitting here at the office, watching the rain, and thinking about my grammar assignment. I hate grammar; it's my worst enemy. I can do it and just when I think I'm doing well, I gotta forget a comma or place the slanted line in the wrong direction on the sentence diagram. I'm studying Rhetoric right now, so I like it. I noticed I already have these "writing skills." They are already part of my writing habits, just didn't have a name for them.

I don't want to sound over-confident here but when I write, like seriously writing. The words fall into place; I got that cohesion flowing. I write poetry with "natural parallelism." I love poetry. I love reading it and writing it. I don't know why I don't specialize in it while working on my MFA. I like fiction way better. I love to tell a story. When talking about my writing, I say this sometimes "I give voice to the voiceless." Ok those are exactly my WORDS, but Elena Ponitiawska - I know I butchered her last name - she said that. She's a popular Mexican writer and she tells some wonderful insightful stories. Here are MY words: I give sound to the silent with my words.

Ok, that's a reason I write stories.

Mirame, I already got off topic here. I was supposed to be talking about the purpose of my blog and of course I get side-tracked. That's me....

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I'm Still Alive!

I cannot believe that I have not posted in forever. You know I forgot I started this blog. That's how busy and forgetful I am. People in my writing groups and of course, my dear friends "Las Sucias" were discussing blogs and I'm like...don't I have one?

A lot has changed in my life; I am single again. Since early April, Juan and I have been broken up. I am tempted to delete/edit those posts about us, but well that's part of life. I can erase words off here, unfortunately, I cannot erase his memory. I'm over him though. I was reading a previous post where I was talking about "being single." I did not think I'd be single again; I thought Juan was my soul mate. I live by the saying, "Live and Learn." I've lived a lot during the past few months that I have been "MIA."

I've taken two Creative Writing courses so don't even think I've stopped writing. I'll always have my writing, my refuge, my comfort. I've did extremely well in school; 4.0 GPA. I'm struggling with this grammar course right now. Grammar has always been my worst enemy y derepente, it comes back to haunt me.

I changed jobs; no longer sales associate, now secretary @ insurance office. I'm still a UHV LEAD ambassador for education; I would never lose that job.

I still have all my community activities going on. Nothing has changed except my marital status lol.

It was funny but the week I broke up with Juan, I went out almost every single night. Mis amigas dijieron que "you're way more fun when you're single." My buddy R said "What are you going to start dating older men now?" I giggled my cackling laugh and said, "Yep, I think I'll start with you." Isn't that funny how I could turn a sad situation into a happy one.

You know Life is too short to sit around and cry, we gotta live.

The summer has been enjoying; I finished the two 5 week courses. I loved my biweekly 5 hour a night course. Friendship, Film, and Philosophy. I liked Dr. DiLeo even though I had heard negative things about him around campus. I mastered philosophy. I like philosophy; can I emphasize that some more?

I did a film analysis presentation on Frida. That woman's life was awesome. She left her mark on Mexican art, impacted the world. I discussed her friendship/marriage with Diego. I could relate, young girl in her twenties, older man in his forties, sounds so familiar... I was not afraid to get up in front of the class and discuss her bisexuality as an expression of independence. Dr. DiLeo liked it. Liked it so much he commented to Alma, degree plan counselor and good friend of mine. Wow! I included some philosophy from Aristotle and Cicero; they had a lot to say and they made some sense.

Philosophy is amazing: I like it so much I am considering getting my Ph. D in it. I say that now, but I'm that complex ever-changing Cancer woman, may change my mind.
I know one thing: I am looking forward to my Fall courses. I have this grammar course; we just began rhetoric so I will do better. The History of Education is interesting; I love history so of course, I'm enjoying the course. So I have two online courses now and a month to prepare for the GRE.

Yes, the GRE - my ticket to grad school. I have to pass this exam with flying colors. Grad School is my dream. I believe in pursuing your dreams. I do not want to say I have a dream job; I want to say I'm living my dream; I have my dream CAREER.

A college professor and a writer. I am already a writer, a published author is my goal. Let me add successful to that. College professor, because I love to talk. I knew the first time I walked into Eng Comp 1301 that I wanted to be up there lecturing.

I don't know if I'll post any writings on here; I am weird like that. Stingy selfish bitch - don't want to share her writing. I'll definitely say what's happening in mi vida loca.

The hurricane is out there in the Gulf delaying airplane flights and sending me strong winds and lots of rain.

I've been posting a lot to mi sucias. They're great - told them all about R and me. I feel I can trust them but then again, look at how naive I am. I like to think I am losing my naivete and maturing more. I believe I have; I'm different than I was when I posted last, that's for sure. That's what I love about R - he sees me as a grown educated woman. He hates it when someone puts me down. Don't get me started on how some woman tried to put me down. That set R off like a bomb. You know a bomb about to explode, not a bomb you smoke. Yelling at people like he was crazy; almost got fired from his job, all for me....Isn't he a sweetie? And, no he's not my b/f. He's my future husband. Just kidding - watch me jinx myself.

My bed with the flannel quilt is waiting for me....