Monday, August 21, 2006

Time, Trials, and Treasures

Time seems to go by so quickly. It feels like just yesterday I was completing my B.A. and now, I realize it has been nearly two months. I still have no job. I told God, "Thank you. I am where you want me to be right now." I'll do what I can with my time. I have slept half my days away and read some interesting books. I have written some love poetry, a few short stories that are only strings waiting to be knotted and completed..and...last week, I made the commitment to start working on chapters of my novel and actually asking people to read. I have some readers now who are offering some great criticism and some techniques that are really helping me. I have never made such a commitment like this before to my writing; I am glad I have. It's so easy to say "Yeah, i wrote a novel." Anyone can say that, but you know what? I do not want to be just a talker; that's not me, I want to say that I've completed and working on getting it published. Final Editing Stages - that's where the novel is - after a whole year. I cannot believe a whole year has rolled by. Amazing how Time just goes by.

-Trials - I am facing a trial right now. My faith is being tested. I don't like not having a full-time job and I hate to look at the numbers in my bank account reduce to only two digits, when I am so used to seeing three or four digits. I am getting frustrating, seeing the bills roll in one after another. I always preach about being so positive, yet at times, I feel myself drowning in my own emotions. Then I get mad at myself for wasting my time, moping around or sleeping half the day because I am bored. But it's getting better - my friends call me and cheer me up or ask for favors, and I gotta be the cheerful bright Elsie. I gotta remind myself over and over.

-Treasures - Thursday, I went to the movies with a wonderful patient gentleman who's in my life, and I thank God for him every day.
It felt good to relax and unwind. Without the burden of a relationship and thinking I am gonna miss this man when he leaves to go work in Houston, but instead stating - the distance might do us some good. I notice that he's not all wrapped up in my outside image, but instead we have actual conversations. Last Friday when my best friend Abee and I went out, I was doing some crazy daring stuff that made my heart race. I wanted to scream in laughter. Saturday night was the same with the girls - all loud and crazy inside Chilis. But all fun... Nice to know that Life still has treasures.