Defining Our Freedom

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Happy 4th of July! - even if you're reading this after the 4th.

I love this holiday because I am thankful for being an American. I remember sitting in government class and hearing the professor praise the American woman. I remember feeling my cheeks beam and a gratitude fill my heart, and thinking that's me, I am an American woman. Later, composing the verse of "Real Live Woman."

Maybe, we take our freedoms for granted sometimes. Why do people remain silent about something when they know we have freedom of speech? Why fall victim to something they do not understand? Why submit to fear? Why hold onto pride and not get an education? Why are there more people in prisons than in colleges?

I value my education. I am so thankful that I have my Bachelor's degree now, and I think, if I wasn't an American - I wouldn't have this opportunity. This opportunity to express myself - hold onto cultural roots of being Mexicana and Tejana, yet at the same time, understand liberty and the Founding Fathers of my country. Study history and see what it tells me instead of reading the facts - trying to understand the humanity of past civilizations.

I got angry once when a student did not pledge allegiance to the flag - I made him do it twice, actually nearly three times. I told him, "Men are dying so you can stand here in this classroom. Now, I want to hear you say that again. Clearly." I stated firmly. We should acknowledge this holiday with thanksgiving.

I also enjoy my freedom of religion. I've grown closer to God these past few months. Something I knew for awhile that I needed to do for awhile - something I had placed on hold, but now I am where I need to be, and constantly moving toward where God wants me to be. I am a Christian and that's what matters - all different faiths - one God. Right?

Like our country in her beauty - different cultures - one country. That's the essence of our beauty. To me, that is true freedom - being able to be surrounded by people of different colors, religions, ages, etc. and not being judgemental but welcoming with open arms. Looking @ history, there were times when people stayed together. Just to mention a few - the Revolutions, Civil Rights Movement, Women's Movement, - why didn't I live then? I would've been someone leading the crowds. Look closely though - were there differences? Maybe some - the picture cannot be flawless, but look again - unity - the opportunity to fight for one cause - freedom.......

Scattered Thoughts~Treasured Moments

Another Page ~ Another Journey ~ Another End...
Pen pressed on paper, I take notes.
Eyes lifted, I absorb the lectures.
These are my days ... my last six college credit hours as an undergrad. I want to enjoy it and embrace it. Pull it closely to me, because I KNOW that in three weeks it will be over. And, I will no longer be an undergrad but a graduate. I will not know what to do with my time, look for a job, WRITE.

Scribbling during class
Sometimes, I am sitting there hearing the professor, but the voices inside me are shouting at me. (NO, I am not crazy! I'm talking about the voices of my characters.) Little things come to me about my stories, and new poems are manifesting. So my pink journal that I bought not too long ago, is already filling with pages of scribble but beautiful beginnings.

~Children Are the Light of the World

A few weeks ago, I was sitting through a Catholic Mass for a quinceanera, and the priest stated this. He beamed at the court that sat at the front row of the pews. I grinned my widest because I knew what he meant. "How beautiful the world is through the eyes of a child..." I love to be around kids and get caught up in their innocent dreaming. Perhaps, a part of me is searching for the innocence I lost. I cannot even dream even more. I'll admit there have been some moments, not too long ago, that I prayed to God before I went to sleep and as I awoke in the morning. I drew lip liner around my lips and told myself over and over, "Elsie, you're going to smile today." I'd go to work and teach those kids, loving every moment. Then it was snatched away. I gathered my sorrows, took 'em to God, and felt His love surround me. It was not easy... I've found other outlets to help kids; God has blessed me, and I must follow His will. It's amazing how the kids STILL love me; they run up to me in stores or follow me shyly. They look up to me because of WHO I am. They ask me for advice, because they know I've been in their place before, and I realize "Yep, I can use my experiences."

~Real-Live Angels

My friends have been supportive of me - always reaching out when I need them. There have been times, I didn't even need to reach out, and they just KNEW! I love you all!! True Angels! Those of you in cyber space and those of you in person - y'all know who y'all are!

I hope I have done the same. Some of them have admitted that my writing is inspiring - that means so much to me! It's so inspiring itself. The other night, I spent about an hour, shooting out over 100 lines of poetry about an incident that happened last week. People cried when they read it. Some of them were inspired to have faith. I shared a slice of my personality - didn't hide a thing. That's the kind of writer I am. If all else fails, I'll have some great stories to share.

I am FINALLY receiving some more ideas for my coverage of Hispanic males - (for my novel) some of the things they go through are pretty tough, and some of the things they do are pretty sad! Sorry in advance if I offend anyone...

Beauty of Life

I am earthy; I like material things. I throw a tantrum every time another scratch appears on my gold Impala. I run toward sales at the Mall and get excited over new accessories. I am a diva who has shoes that match my handbags and different sets of sparkling jewelry.

I am Elsie who is recongized for the boldness of red and the softness of pearly pink.

When do I smile the brightest?
What do I love the most?
What drives my determination?
~those beautiful moments that no money can buy.

1) Falling in Love
Nothing else makes my soul feel more alive and weak at the same time.

2) Expression
Using my voice to share, to guide, to inform, to entertain, to release...
My boldness. That's a reason I LOVE red so much.

A professor once told me that my most powerful talent as a writer was the ability to re-create human emotion and allow the reader to feel what "I" am feeling or what the characters of my imagination are feeling. I have emotions that stay inside and want to be released. I unclench my fists and allow the words to pour from my fingers into stories, poetry, - just flowing.

3) Heart - pearly pink - that's what I think of when I think of my heart. The Bible teaches us to love all - even our enemies. My pastor made the point in church the other day about this. I realized it was difficult when he said to even love that person "who has slammed the door in my face." Wow, makes Love seem all conquering - it does teach that Love never fails but first it is patient. I love to serve and minister to others. I like to use all aspects of my personality and character to help others. It's sacrificial - to put others' happiness before our own. But look @ Jesus - he died for us...

4) Youth - This one truly makes me smile and burst into laughter. I know people who still have that spirit of youth radiating in their presence even if they're in their forties or older! I pray I aways keep this youth. Like last week, the guys and I watched Poseidon and I squirmed with laughter because we were playfully teasing each other. I got my hand bit and my side poked. (Ok, I was being a kid...) My cheeks ached on the sides from laughing so hard. I pulled out my candy from my Melani handbag, and they're like "YEAH! She IS Mexican!" Sneaking candy into the movie theater - and I get called Mexican ok, so only Mexicans do that?!? They had just been teasing me about being a white girl trapped in Mexican skin because of my Texas accent! I love this about friendship - how we jokingly tease each other and have a great time - no matter what we are doing. I think it's that spirit of youth - just floating between us. Oh, Poseidon is not a comedy; there was a scene where someone dies and his body convulsed and his eyes stayed open staring blindly. Well, one of the guys, Angel, decided to pound on his chest and mimic the guy, because the actions were so exaggerated that we had to laugh.

After the movie, we cruized around. No more money so we had to do something that cost nothing, lol. The lives of college students - broke and discounted items. We passed through the cemeteries; I have this weird interest of cemeteries. Angel's face kept changing colors from flushed red to blue, and I'm asking "What's wrong?" He's shaking his head at me quickly. I'm thinking, "Maybe, he's choking?" We passed the cemetery and he lets his breath out quickly like he's gasping for air. I give him that look that says "What's wrong w/ you?" in confusion. He starts to laugh and say, "You can't breathe through a cemetery because the dead people will take the life out of you." OMG, I had to scream in laughter again. The dramatics that these guys pull on me just to see my face!!

That's not all - we went to the lake - now that's where I saw such beauty in life itself. Before we relaxed, Angel had to pull another dramatic act. I was getting ready to sit on the concrete table and look at the lake that surrounded us. The sun was starting to set and I was ready to relax in this peacefulness. Angel starts to walk around the edge near the water and look for clams. I tell him to stay in my sight as I lean back. I felt like I was getting after a kid even though he's much older than that. I talked to my other friend for awhile when I heard Angel scream out "Oh sh*t!" and disappear under the bank. I start to scream in fear that he had fallen into the water. I could already picture half of his body devoured by an alligator. We rushed over there only to find him standing behind the wide trunk of a tree and grinning michieviously. ;) Shaking my head, but thinking I still love these guys!!

The sun was starting to set so we lied down on the concrete table and the hardness did not feel so uncomfortable underneath me as I focused on the sky. The pink and orange of the sunset lowered and the midnight blue of the night sky emerged. There was half day and half night - don't we call that dusk? But to see it while lying on my back with a content grin on my face - is unforgettable! You should try this sometime!! Just get away from the rush of the city and go somewhere quiet and peaceful and watch the sun set - and welcome night. And, laugh because humor is so healing!

Update on Mi Vida Loca

I know I promised to blog more often, well - hey here I am again! Good news: Finals are over! I am one class away from my Bachelor's degree....wait....applause.......
bows..."thank you." Okay - just a major moment of conceit lol - no - I meant confidence and gratitude. I am so thankful that all this hard work is finally paying off. God is opening new doors for me every time I turn around. I used to run FAR away from change or shake my head consistently, "Nope, don't want change!" and throw a tantrum like a two year old, but now I am adjusting to change in a much better way.

I celebrated Cinco de Mayo in Houston, Texas and had such a wonderful time. I had the opportunity to meet with some great artists. I was super-excited - the way I get when Dillard's has a 75% sale.

The first person I ran into - as I searched for the auditorium to hear Jackie Guerra (from Selena) speak - was "shoegirl," a blogging friend, and sucia! We just ran into each other - how cool is that?

After that motivatinal speech from Jackie Guerra, I walked out of there thinking "I am going to flaunt my big booty and remeber I am a MEXI - CAN!" These were some valid points in her speech. I started to explore the booths and wanted to get my hands on everything. I stuffed my bag with brochures, pens, books...it was a LATINO book fair! My niece pointed out this awesome Frida Kahlo tote-bag that I just had to purchase in bright red. I took a photo of this art work that is my shout right now -

I just love art work that speaks whether through text like this example or visually through the actual appearance. I also just love the bright colors.

I also had to stand there next to this other art-work -what do you think of this photo? I have another where I am smiling - all close-mouthed, and I look a little stuck up - this is more ME.

I bought Alisa Valdes-Rodriguez's new book, Make Him Look Good, and it's now autographed in purple script. I was in the front row hearing her speak, and wow, she has a great sense of humor that just lit me up and made me laugh so hard I nearly cried. And, check out this photo -
Everything else is just plain peachy! Will tell you more next time!!! So stay tuned until the next entry of Mi Vida Loca!!

What Takes You Home?

As many of you know, I am one proud Tejana! When I hear Tejano music, I go home. That's all it takes - the sounds of the accordion, the beat of the drums, the chimes of the saxophone - okay, I know saxophone don't chime but they sound so beautiful! This makes me feel @ home. I grew up hearing Tejano music, and it's something that is embedded in my veins because it's my "sangre" (blood).

My best friend since Kindergarten, linked me to this Tejano
website, and I've been jamming to it so much lately.

Memories come back...good memories! I remember Fiesta in San Antonio, lost nights in the market square, ending up at a carnival, or the time I developed pictures of STRANGERS because my boy got too happy with that camera; he still has that habit.

Another more recent memory was early January of 2006, strolling around the market square holding onto the ex's left hand and admiring Frida Kahlo paintings. I was like a kid in the candy store, going crazy and wanting everything. Apparently, he saw my eager face and knew I wanted one so there we go, walking off with a Frida Kahlo painting wrapped carefully in paper so it wouldn't get ruined. "Two Fridas" - my favorite painting of hers. And, let's not forget the big content smile on my face! I wake up every morning and see that painting; it's a beautiful sight in the morning.


When I hear Tejano music, I also think of the bailes on Saturday nights @ the K.C. Hall, learning how to "cumbia" and never learning how to dance polkas or rancheras because I always wanted to lead and dance my own free way. The ex was teaching me before we broke up... When I hear those soft romantic songs, I remember when he held me, and I finally got to slow-dance with a man. Yeah, 21 years old and never slow-danced with a man until that great time in January, and it only lasted a couple of minutes but the rhythm we had in each slide of our feet was truly magical - just like the whole entire relationship. Full of magic. :)

Okay, just realized something - two paragraphs about the ex - I need to let go! What else does Tejano music remind me of? Cruizes through town with one of my other best friends; his finger gently moving the dial till Ramon Ayala sang louder.

I could go on and on about Tejano music and identity like a previous post, but what makes you feel at home? Is it music or a certain food? A certain movie? A certain article of clothing?

Return to Blogging World

You'd think since I am taking a course on blogging that maybe I would update this blog frequently. The course is going well; I don't even know why I quit blogging on here.

Why do I turn to blogging again on here? - where I am truly myself and people have read and returned. I remember the trusting friendships I've formed as well as the insight I've been given from blogging. This is a major reason I've returned.

Another reason ~ I've had so many thoughts, emotions, ideas, realizations, going through my mind that I must release them.

What's the latest? Brief update - I hope it's brief.

I LOVE substitute teaching - that's where my heart and soul is. Those kids are the reason I arise in the morning - the reason that I find myself living. When I go to bed at night, I usually have a content smile on my face because I know there have been some lives I've touched that day. I've been placed at this middle school where the kids are from such a different world of gangs, violence, poverty - this is where I feel most needed. Sometimes, my heart breaks with disappointment. Other times, I beam at their success. I try my best to be there for "my kids." It's such a fulfilling job. I'll admit that there have been periods of frustration, but I've learned to embrace every challenge and it's amazing what God will do when you ask Him. I gotta keep smiling and showing that positive attitude, can't let the kids see me frown.

I am still writing, always writing. There are bits of fragments of stories and additions to my novel scattered in my laptop as well as my on-line storage. I've written some poetry as well. Once I polish up the work, maybe I'll post.

As I get closer to this Bachelor's degree in English and Communications, I feel the dimples form on the side of my mouth. I realize that I know the value of four years of hard work. I used to call college - my demanding husband and in the end, college has been that way, but the rewards and the experiences are paying off. I gotta keep spreading that message - it's such an important one.

I am single...after nearly six months of a wonderful relationship that recently ended. I don't know how to tell this story except that I am moving on slowly...The pain is slowly leaking away like the wax of a candle that slowly melts.

Ultimately, the realization has occured that I must focus on everything God gives me and blesses me with - and everything else will come later if it's in His plan. I am so content right now with my life, and I can't wait to start sharing more with all of you readers. It says in Proverbs (I am horrible @ remembering actual scriptures), that God will bless the one who stands upright so I am gonna keep on standing upright not "pridefully" but "proudly" - such an awesome difference.

Started A Blogging Course

After much persuasion from Abee

Abee's Blog

(my best friend), I signed up for the blogging course and hey, it's been fun! A bit confusion since our professor didn't logg in all week, but hey he's a busy man so I am understanding. Got all my assignments done and, well they want a blog each week so I got myself writing this evening. Everything is great by the way. I am loving my full-time job still as a substitute teacher. Doing volunteer work still. LEAD job, too. Being with my b/f. It's all gravy baby!

1/22/2006 7:32 PM
As Soon as I Sat Down to Write

…I started to feel better and forget the sore throat and head-ache that annoyed me. Writing has been comfort and my release – the anchor that pulls me down under warming caressing waters after the waves of pain shove me underneath. Writing is something I can do naturally. I may not be able to do cartwheels or always speak the right words or wear a size six, but I can write.

For this first blog entry, I was unsure of what to post like many others in this course, but I’ve decided to blog about identity and reflection. I was also unsure about length, and I apologize in advance if this is too long. Something I love about blogging is the responses in the form of comments as well as knowing that SOMEONE will read and SOMEONE will relate.

I associate reflection with identity because of what we see when we look in the mirror. Do we see someone who longs to be thin because of the diet world of America? Do we see lines of stress etched around the roundness of our faces? Do we see someone whose eyes criticize? Do we see someone who forgets to laugh because “life’s gotten just too hard?” Do we see someone who absorbs negativity into a frown? Do we see someone whose mouth shoots words of ridicule about one person to make others laugh? Do we see someone whose eyes crinkle with anger?

Do we see someone whose eyes crinkle with joy and laughter? Do we see someone who smiles from the heart?

When I look in the mirror, I smile because God has given me a new day and I’m alive. I smile because I have both hands and both feet to do God’s will because I know that others do not. I think about what so many people take for granted – how so many people are lazy and satisfied with their everyday lives that they do not rise higher. I question why some parents don’t let their kids go to church or tell them that they are loved. I try to understand why thirteen year olds get pregnant because no one ever told them right from wrong or said “I love you.”

In my experiences as a substitute teacher, I have noticed how the children look up to me. It’s then I glance in the mirror and I wonder, “what do I want them to see?” Do I want them to see my frustration or impatience? No, I want them to see a positive attitude and enjoy the atmosphere of a learning environment. I understand that what we see in the mirror is a reflection of ourselves. Most importantly, our reflections are what others see and interpret about our identity. What kind of example do we want to set for the next generation?

2006 - Super Year

Hey bloggers: 2006 is going well. I am enjoying it and adjusting to the routine which I will slip into next year like an old pair of comfortable jeans.

I was reading some blogs of my friends. I got this little vibe from a friend that he's falling in love and I'm so happy for him. It's awesome to relate to that falling in love feeling. Love songs have meaning to me again. I actually sing along with them again. I'm not so bittersweet about love anymore - I've handed myself over on a silver platter. It's beautiful how my male friends are still my friends and they have a great amount of respect for my relationship.

At the same time, I am who I am. And, I haven't changed. The Daniela Romo quote is still my guide: Es verdad que te adoro pero mas adoro yo - it's true that I love you but I love me more. (I'm addressing a reader deliberately lol)

I've embraced Tony like no other man. I've had life-changing experiences with him (remember I exaggerate) but yes, moments I'll never forget - those moments I am adjusting to - ahh, I'll save it for the reflections blog.

I wanted to touch on the subject that it's so sparkling beautiful to fall in love and keep my identity and look forward to who I will become with this wonderful man. I'm all grinning here - dimples showing. I could so easily sink into negativity - let those rushing waters drown me - but I'm choosing not to. I am ignoring the fact that my computer keeps shutting off by itself - stupid virus - ignoring the fact I gotta pay my tuition soon - embracing the fact that I'm alive - embracing the fact that I can go to school. Being grateful for everything in my life. :)

Farewell to 2005 and Welcome to 2006

Farewell to 2005 and Welcome to 2006

The year of 2005 is gone.
- the heartbreak
- the trials
- the lessons
- the experiences.
The memories remain
- my god daughter’s birth
- my re-discovery of self
- my reconstruction of confidence
- my shouts of womanhood
The new beginnings continue
- new friendships
- new love
- new discoveries
- new paths to cross
The constant cycle of life circles
- recognizing God’s will
- seeking completion
- desiring accomplishment of goals
- striving to inhale determination.

Let’s embrace 2006 with my new blogging appearance, (still editing it) and accept the new challenges that rush at us, wanting to be embraced.

What I Live For

~Creativity
~My LIFE

I took the day off for once because I am sick with a stomach virus and a cold that I must've caught from my 1st graders yesterday. Then my body was stressed from all this running around, must've weakened a bit.

The photo represents something wonderful in my life - this new relationship along with the creativity of Photoshop. (BTW, if you wish to read more about the romance in my life - click this ) It has a few smudges that I need to correct. Ever since Abee showed me these tricks, I am playing with digital photos like a child plays with a new toy.

I am going to update my little blogs soon, wish I could say today but don't know if that's happening - depends on how I feel etc. I've got a lot of ideas for poetry. No other way to express these emotions. But hey there are some poems on my poetry blog if no one has read 'em Poetry Blog

I completed the Fall semester of 2005 with a B average. That's okay for me; I am used to the A's. I learned a lot though and that's what matters. I didn't make an A on the Ana Castillo research paper like I hoped but my professor still said it was an excellent. I need to see her comments.

I've been working about 3-4 jobs for the past month. You see, I'm a full-time subsitute teacher, LEAD Ambassador (we haven't did much lately though), photographer (running my little business there), and a Fossil Represenative on the weekends. You know Fossil watches and belts and purses? Because of my sales experience, I am working as a rep inside Dillard's Dept. store - to be specific - watch department. It feels pretty good to be back in the retail atmosphere again. If no one knew, I used to work @ Dillard's for nearly three years. I know all about retail - the sales quota, the long hours, the demands. I love giving quality customer service though. I like the customers to leave all satisifed w/ their 11 year warranty and stylish watch. This weekend I begin the chaotic 7 days straight working. On Christmas Eve, I have another gig - a Quincenera. I have this beautiful red dress with a bolero to wear. Dang, I still need me some red shoes. I might just wear black. Tony is supposed to come and go with me. It will be nice to go to a baile with a man. He likes to dance - I hope we dance well together.

So much has happened in my life that I want to share. I gotta admit: teaching has fulfilled me. I've worked w/ so many different ages of kids. I have become attached to the 7th graders @ the middle school on the South Side. A lot of these kids are of lower socioeconmic status - they need to see a positive role model of their skin tone - they need to be told that "being there for your homeboys is not what life is all about." I'm talking about gangs. Nothing wrong with tight friendship. Something wrong w/ the fighting and the stabbing. The girls need to know that "having a boyfriend is not what life's all about." They ask me why I am not married, why I don't have kids, and their eyes light up with interest and curiosity when I say "I'm too young, I am enjoying life. Yes, I have a boyfriend, but I've waited awhile." They are interested to learn about college, shopping, working, driving, - all the things I do. They want to go riding in my Impala because it's "pimpin" and I like some of the same rap music. They wanted me to go see Frankie J with them. They tell me about their boyfriends and their moms being strict with them. Then, there's the ones who's parents don't care because they're "not there." It breaks my heart when a little boy tells me "My dad's in jail and this is Mama's 3rd boyfriend- she wants me to call him Dad but he's NOT my dad." Things like that bug me. I care about the kids so much.

Yesteday, I had 1st graders (two day assign. - I got attached) and I was getting frustrated because I felt myself getting sick and I was late picking them up from P.E. because I had to use the bathroom - stomach virus was kicking in. I had a head-ache and I was trying to calm them down. One of the little girls with big brown watery eyes and boogers falling on top of her lip, tugs on my hand "Ms. C, are you ok? You feel sick?" I handed her a Kleenex and said, "I am okay." I forced a smile. I started feeling sick all afternoon but kept the smile. My voice was growing weaker as I tried to teach them Math - not a Mathematician here. The office made an announcement to take all 1st graders to the gym to practice for the Christmas Play. We walked over - single file, hands behind back, no talking. My class was so well-behaved. We lined them up in their spots for the play. They kept their mouths closed until it was time to sing. As soon as they started to sing the Christmas carols, I felt my insides swell with pride "like a proud mama."
It was a great end to a long day. :)

If I do not blog before Christmas: wishing you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Let's remember what the hoidays are about: family, and Jesus' birth!

New Boots~New Season~New Decision~New Love

Hi Bloggers: Elsie's still alive. Y'all already know how busy my life has been. Every day is different; I am loving life, embracing it and holding it closer to me. Finally, feels like winter here in Texas. The air is crisp; the sun is warm. ~When it's cold outside, who are you holding?~ K-Ci & Jojo. I have someone holding me; he's wonderful.

I am wearing these fabolous boots, strutting down the hallways of different schools. I've did different ages and different social classes. Schools where Lexuses and BMW's drive up to pick up the children, and we talk on Walkie Talkies. Schools where the kids are walking home - some long distances.
All different kinds. The junior high kids are hugging me, looking up to me. I am grinning widely, feeling my influence when I hear them say "Ms. C is Mexican, and she goes to college; she doesn't think we're "bad" kids." Nope, I don't make pre-judgemenets. What for?

My new decision...I've delayed graduation. That one course I need is being offered, 100 miles away on a Friday which means I'd have to lose a whole day of work, drive up there. blah blah. I talked it over with my mom; she's understanding - keeps reminding me to stay dedicated to myself and my education. Change is amazing, verdad? She doesn't like all the expenses associated with college though, who does? Why doesn't the government just see that I want to college "apparently" I've been dedicated - this is my fourth year. Nah, I gotta learn to work for everything I have like my daddy taught me. Delaying graduation until the summer when that course is being offered here, allows me to more time for a number of reasons.
~More Time to Be with the Kids - Watch the 8th graders go to high school
~Do LEAD
~Complete My Novel ~ only 20,000 more words to go ~ I am submitting this to grad school as well as a publisher
~Time to get a Minor in Communications so I can expand my career options
I have this dream to work for a magazine or a newspaper. One of my career ideas.

I am looking @ the positive here. Nope, the new man in my life is not a reason. He reminded me to do for myself as I've been doing; he does not want to change who I am. Let me embrace him closer to me, mi corazon, for just being who he is.

Let me also remind you that my other blogs are also updated - been updated. So, while you're here - stop by and take a read of some of my poetry.

Every Day Is Different

Finally taking a break to blog. I miss blogging; I really do because I always have all these thoughts spinning in my mind and I want to release 'em on here. U wanna know what's been happening in my life? Let me give you a brief summary. Brief - do I even know what that word is a writer? LOL!!!

Substitute teaching
School - Mid-Terms, Papers, finally made an A in Poetry
Photography Business Rolling Again
UHV LEAD program - still influencing the students about college :)
Romance... I have a new man in my life. :)
Writing - Why is this last when it is my passion? Because I've been distracted and I need to stop and write more. I've added three more scenes to the novel. I know some of my close friends are waiting for Chapter One. Let me finish editing! :)

Every day is different. Most of my week days are filled with substitute teaching. It's great! Exhausting! But, I still LOVE doing it. I do all ages but lately, I have been doing elementary. I did Special Ed. kids; I didn't mind signing up for this because I have worked with Special Ed. kids back in high school. They were calm, quiet children who were language impaired. I expected quietness and calmness - didn't find it with the kids I worked with. One was a screamer - had to watch him carefully. He was okay, because he would listen when I said 'shhhh." Next time, I had a screamer, she was so loud, my ears hurt. She kept throwing herself on the floor, and I had to restrain her and ended up getting kicked in the thigh - still got the bruise. Thank goodness the other kids were okay. One of them calls everyone "mama" so I got called "mama" all day. Let's see, I've also had 1st grade. Yep! and, I did P.E. and soem of the little boys were laughign at me and saying I was too chubby to exercise. I giggled at this because I know I NEED to exercise. We danced; did the hokey-pokey and "if you're happy and u know it." I like to play w/ children and let the kid come out of me every now, so doing elementary school is fun. I've played outside w/ 'em for Recess. Pushed little girls on the swing so they can go higher, made sure little boys didn't hurt each other. For some reason, a bunch of little boys wanted to all pile up on top of one, so I had to run over there and make 'em all get off. I'm moving around a lot.

Fridayy, I had Kindergarten; I was late because there was confusion in the office, and I had trouble finding the classroom. I had to get after the kids and send one to the office. My voice was hoarse. I was glad to collapse last night. :)

In between there, I did LEAD and worked with high school students. This was great to have this influence on high school students and encoruage them to become somebody as well as influence their peers. We're not there every day @ the high school; we cannot influence 'em the way their peers can. We can answer their questions, share our experiences, tell 'em it IS possible to go to college or a technical school. I got approached by a senior who wants to be a chef. He was so excited when he found about "culinary" school b/c he loves to cook. I couldn't help but beam. :)

Quiz Results ~ More Romantic Results on Reflections Blog

Your Ideal Relationship is Polyamory

You want to have your cake... and everyone else's. Which isn't a bad thing, if everyone else gets to eat too! You're too much of a free spirit to be tied down by a traditional relationship. You think relationships should be open and free, with few restrictions.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

Gummy Bears

You may be smooshie and taste unnatural, but you're so darn cute.

What Kind of Candy Are You?

Your Hidden Talent

You are both very knowledgeable and creative. You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential. Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them. As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Check Out My Best Friend's Blog

I got my best friend started blogging

Abee's Blog

I'd like my readers to take a look at this awesome possum graphic art work he has on his blog that he did for this graphic arts course.
So, whoever gets a chance - drop on by! Leave a Comment!
Thanx!

As for me, I am doing well. Enjoying my time off without working. Planning these activities - writing, living, being happy. Thanking God for all the wonderful things He's doing in my life, even this trial of losing my job.

I am going to start substitute teaching - real excited about that. I hope they call me real soon so that I can get a feel of what it's like to be in a classroom in charge.

Bad News & Good News

Ok peeps:

I may not be blogging as much anymore. We'll see - as the the thoughts come and I release 'em.

Bad News
I lost my job...got laid off. I loved my job; I was so comfortable. Apparently, one door is shut and another is opened - in the words of Helen Keller. Trying to stay positive, I already had my little crying fit. My friends have been supportive as well as my family of course.

Good News
I won an awesome camera on e-bay. So I am gonna get my photo business rolling again.

Other News
I am thinking of working w/ the school district as a substitute teacher.
I still got my LEAD ambassador position so I ain't compleltely JobLess.

That's it peeps, gotta run and go job-hunt.
Not My Brightest At the Moment - trying to adjust to change....